It started with angst-ridden, poetic music. Then came the black clothes. And what is up with the dyed hair, asymmetrical haircut and theatrical makeup? Call it Goth, call it Emo, call it whatever you want--it doesn't matter. Teenagers attempting to ...
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Raising Sci-Fi Kids
Today's post will be brief and self-indulgent.
I recently wrote an article for Education.com called Raising a Sci-Fi Kid, not in any small part due to the fact that our house is full of Sci-Fi ideas and innovations. I was really pleased with the way the piece turned out and had a lot of fun chatting with some really hardcore science fiction fans and researchers.
Check out the article if you get a chance!
I recently wrote an article for Education.com called Raising a Sci-Fi Kid, not in any small part due to the fact that our house is full of Sci-Fi ideas and innovations. I was really pleased with the way the piece turned out and had a lot of fun chatting with some really hardcore science fiction fans and researchers.
Check out the article if you get a chance!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Update on West Africa House for Rent Scam
Wow! Since I wrote the original post about the house for rent scam that seems to originate in West Africa and proliferate on Craigslist, I've gotten a huge response from people.
So many people are getting similar emails about great sounding houses. And so many people are being smart! They're Googling the email and have hit this site before shelling out any money. That's great.
The update on this house renting scam is that it's still going strong. And going smart, too. Apparently the scammers are clever enough to search real estate websites, grab some pictures and descriptions and use that information with the address. That way if you drive by the home, it looks authentic and probably has a real estate sign outside of it. In fact, I discovered after the fact that "my" original scammer had set up an email address using the name of the listing realtor so it would match the name on the sign!
So, I reiterate: RENTER BEWARE. If it sounds too good to be true, you're asked to wire a deposit and/or provide a whole lot of info via email, trust your instincts.
Just the other day, I responded to another listing on Craigslist for a house in my area and got this email back:
So many people are getting similar emails about great sounding houses. And so many people are being smart! They're Googling the email and have hit this site before shelling out any money. That's great.
The update on this house renting scam is that it's still going strong. And going smart, too. Apparently the scammers are clever enough to search real estate websites, grab some pictures and descriptions and use that information with the address. That way if you drive by the home, it looks authentic and probably has a real estate sign outside of it. In fact, I discovered after the fact that "my" original scammer had set up an email address using the name of the listing realtor so it would match the name on the sign!
So, I reiterate: RENTER BEWARE. If it sounds too good to be true, you're asked to wire a deposit and/or provide a whole lot of info via email, trust your instincts.
Just the other day, I responded to another listing on Craigslist for a house in my area and got this email back:
hello dear
It is a great pleasure that to you are interested in my house.Thanks for
your email and it is my gladness to hear from you.I am debbie
i am the owner of the house you are making enquiry of. Actually I
resided in the house with my family,such as my wife and my only
daugther before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in the (West Africa Nigeria) and presently my house s still available for rent $1200 including the utilities like hydro,washerand security,it is furnised.Moreso Now, i went for a Crusade in the West Africa .Pls i want you to note that,i am a kind and honest man and also i spent alot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute mentenance of this house and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken,it is not the money the main problem but want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.i do that once in a while.I
also want you to let me have trust in you as i always stand on my
word.
SO IF YOU ARE REALY INTRESTED I WILL WANT YOU TO FILL THE
RENTAPPLICATIONS FORMS BELOW
RENT APPLICATION FORM
Also,Pls let me get this answer.
1)Your Full Name
2)Your Full Address & Phone Number
3)How old are you?
4)Are you married?
5)How many people will be living in the house?
6)Do you have a pet?
7)Do you have a car?
8)Occupation?
Looking forward to hear from yo u with all this details so that i can
have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt for you and contacting
you. Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the
document and the key to you,please we are giving you all this base on
trust and again i will want you to stick to your words,you know that,we do not see yet and only putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this.you call my cell phone number +234-808-811-5817 oR 234-011-808-811-5817.
Thanks and you are welcome
Continuing the Conversation: Average vs. Special Kids
I thought I would continue the "Where do we go from here?" conversation this morning with a focus on society's obsession with the absolute need for every child to be above average. (After all, child development is where the bulk of my training lies.) Again, I turn to T-Ball as an example of my concerns.
Yesterday, during a 1 hour practice the kids got up to bat maybe twice and had minimal catching practice. The instructors spent more time lining them up, praising them profusely and "encouraging" (read: insisting) them to all "cheer for all your friends" that the time for skill-acquisition was reduced to about 20 minutes.
They are not all "friends." This is a group of about 30 kids who barely know each other and have been placed in the same group. And the reality is they probably wouldn't all be friends anyway. This insistence upon everybody being friends is a very unrealistic way to teach children about the world.
Somebody has to be average. Not all kids can be above average in everything they do. Cheering them on and telling them they're great at everything they do merely diminishes true praise when it's given appropriately.
Not all children are "special" in the gifted sense of the word and some kids are sincerely living up to their potential. And there's nothing wrong with that!
In fact, if you look at the Bell Curve of IQ (intelligence quotient) the vast majority of the population falls squarely in the middle.
There are certainly some people above the mean, but there are also people below the mean. If we try to make all of our children be above the mean, all we are doing is shifting the Bell Curve over and creating stressed-out children who will never live up to our expectations.
To go back to T-Ball, the instructors' insistence that all the children be cheered on, assured they were "special" and made to feel good actually ended up costing them the chance to practice skills that might help to make them more competent overall.
So, I ask you this: Are we hurting our children by telling them they can excel at everything?
Yesterday, during a 1 hour practice the kids got up to bat maybe twice and had minimal catching practice. The instructors spent more time lining them up, praising them profusely and "encouraging" (read: insisting) them to all "cheer for all your friends" that the time for skill-acquisition was reduced to about 20 minutes.
They are not all "friends." This is a group of about 30 kids who barely know each other and have been placed in the same group. And the reality is they probably wouldn't all be friends anyway. This insistence upon everybody being friends is a very unrealistic way to teach children about the world.
Somebody has to be average. Not all kids can be above average in everything they do. Cheering them on and telling them they're great at everything they do merely diminishes true praise when it's given appropriately.
Not all children are "special" in the gifted sense of the word and some kids are sincerely living up to their potential. And there's nothing wrong with that!
In fact, if you look at the Bell Curve of IQ (intelligence quotient) the vast majority of the population falls squarely in the middle.
There are certainly some people above the mean, but there are also people below the mean. If we try to make all of our children be above the mean, all we are doing is shifting the Bell Curve over and creating stressed-out children who will never live up to our expectations.
To go back to T-Ball, the instructors' insistence that all the children be cheered on, assured they were "special" and made to feel good actually ended up costing them the chance to practice skills that might help to make them more competent overall.
So, I ask you this: Are we hurting our children by telling them they can excel at everything?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Living in a Fast Food World
Recently I've been disenfranchised. I'm watching the world around me change more quickly than I ever thought it would and wonder: Where do we go from here?
It's not just about paying nearly $4 /gallon for gas and more than that for a gallon of milk. It's not just about worrying about how we can make the same amount of money and have to pay so much more to live and eat. In fact, I worry less about our family and more about others, those who don't have enough to make it through these times.
What happened to privacy? It's about things like MySpace and FaceBook and iPods and "soccer moms." My tween leaves for school in the morning and we argue over whether or not she can take her iPod with her and whether she needs to turn her cell phone on for the walk to school. Everything is so extreme in our world and everybody has a sense of being on display. And they are! You never know who ends up on YouTube or the latest reality show.
What happened to discretion? There are naked people on my television during prime time and commercials using insults like "dillweed." It's a constant battle to find clothing that covers my tween semi-modestly.
What happened to self-identity and giving our children the tools to plan their own lives? I go to T-Ball practice with my 5-year-old and I am surrounded by professional mothers. Not mothers who happen to be professionals, too, but professional mothers. Women whose life's ambition is to be the "best" mother and have the "best" kids who have the "right" friends, participate in the "best" activities and have perfectly planned lives.
I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only person who worries about these things. I've had some wonderful conversations lately with a lot of very interesting people, a lot of very intelligent people, a lot of very accomplished people, all of whom feel the same way. They all express it differently, but we're all concerned about the society we've created.
Who else is feeling this disenfranchisement?
It's not just about paying nearly $4 /gallon for gas and more than that for a gallon of milk. It's not just about worrying about how we can make the same amount of money and have to pay so much more to live and eat. In fact, I worry less about our family and more about others, those who don't have enough to make it through these times.
What happened to privacy? It's about things like MySpace and FaceBook and iPods and "soccer moms." My tween leaves for school in the morning and we argue over whether or not she can take her iPod with her and whether she needs to turn her cell phone on for the walk to school. Everything is so extreme in our world and everybody has a sense of being on display. And they are! You never know who ends up on YouTube or the latest reality show.
What happened to discretion? There are naked people on my television during prime time and commercials using insults like "dillweed." It's a constant battle to find clothing that covers my tween semi-modestly.
What happened to self-identity and giving our children the tools to plan their own lives? I go to T-Ball practice with my 5-year-old and I am surrounded by professional mothers. Not mothers who happen to be professionals, too, but professional mothers. Women whose life's ambition is to be the "best" mother and have the "best" kids who have the "right" friends, participate in the "best" activities and have perfectly planned lives.
I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only person who worries about these things. I've had some wonderful conversations lately with a lot of very interesting people, a lot of very intelligent people, a lot of very accomplished people, all of whom feel the same way. They all express it differently, but we're all concerned about the society we've created.
Who else is feeling this disenfranchisement?
- Well, my husband for one. We spend way too much time pondering what life will be like for our children as they grow up with a generation of non-resilient children without any idea of limit-setting or responsibility
- Dr. Aaron Cooper, a clinical psychologist with the Family Institute at Northwestern University recently shared with me the concerns that led him to write the book "I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy: Why You Shouldn’t Say It, Why You Shouldn’t Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead." His feeling is "that this widespread devotion to kids' happiness" is a huge problem. He goes on to say, "More and more research and anecdotal stories point to a generation of young adults suffering as a result of their parents' turning into the Happiness Police, shielding the kids from the ordinary moments of childhood/adolescent adversity that build resilience, emotional heartiness, etc."
- Dr. Jean Illsley Clark, whom I had the pleasure to interview about child disciplinary techniques, sent me a copy of her book How Much Is Enough? which details the research she and her colleagues at the Overindulgence Project have done. It talks, again, about resiliency in children and how giving them too much, whether it be material or attention is creating adults who are unable to function well in society.
- Rebecca (Kiki) Weingarten, Co-Founder of Daily Life Consulting and I spoke a little bit about "Baby Planners" this morning and how the concept of the delegating responsibility of hiring a nanny and even choosing your child's name is (at the very least) odd, and, truthfully a little horrifying.
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