Living in a Fast Food World

Recently I've been disenfranchised. I'm watching the world around me change more quickly than I ever thought it would and wonder: Where do we go from here?

It's not just about paying nearly $4 /gallon for gas and more than that for a gallon of milk. It's not just about worrying about how we can make the same amount of money and have to pay so much more to live and eat. In fact, I worry less about our family and more about others, those who don't have enough to make it through these times.

What happened to privacy? It's about things like MySpace and FaceBook and iPods and "soccer moms." My tween leaves for school in the morning and we argue over whether or not she can take her iPod with her and whether she needs to turn her cell phone on for the walk to school. Everything is so extreme in our world and everybody has a sense of being on display. And they are! You never know who ends up on YouTube or the latest reality show.

What happened to discretion? There are naked people on my television during prime time and commercials using insults like "dillweed." It's a constant battle to find clothing that covers my tween semi-modestly.

What happened to self-identity and giving our children the tools to plan their own lives? I go to T-Ball practice with my 5-year-old and I am surrounded by professional mothers. Not mothers who happen to be professionals, too, but professional mothers. Women whose life's ambition is to be the "best" mother and have the "best" kids who have the "right" friends, participate in the "best" activities and have perfectly planned lives.

I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only person who worries about these things. I've had some wonderful conversations lately with a lot of very interesting people, a lot of very intelligent people, a lot of very accomplished people, all of whom feel the same way. They all express it differently, but we're all concerned about the society we've created.

Who else is feeling this disenfranchisement?

• Well, my husband for one. We spend way too much time pondering what life will be like for our children as they grow up with a generation of non-resilient children without any idea of limit-setting or responsibility

• Dr. Aaron Cooper, a clinical psychologist with the Family Institute at Northwestern University recently shared with me the concerns that led him to write the book "I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy: Why You Shouldn’t Say It, Why You Shouldn’t Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead." His feeling is "that this widespread devotion to kids' happiness" is a huge problem. He goes on to say, "More and more research and anecdotal stories point to a generation of young adults suffering as a result of their parents' turning into the Happiness Police, shielding the kids from the ordinary moments of childhood/adolescent adversity that build resilience, emotional heartiness, etc."

• Dr. Jean Illsley Clark, whom I had the pleasure to interview about child disciplinary techniques, sent me a copy of her book How Much Is Enough? which details the research she and her colleagues at the Overindulgence Project have done. It talks, again, about resiliency in children and how giving them too much, whether it be material or attention is creating adults who are unable to function well in society.
  

• Rebecca (Kiki) Weingarten, Co-Founder of Daily Life Consulting and I spoke a little bit about "Baby Planners" this morning and how the concept of the delegating responsibility of hiring a nanny and even choosing your child's name is (at the very least) odd, and, truthfully a little horrifying.
  

What's my point? Well, there are too many to enumerate, I suppose. The two most important points are actually dichotomous perspectives. I wanted to reach out and let people know there are others who worry about where we are going and how we can get back on the right track. But, on the same token, I wanted to reach out the people who are indulging and creating this crazy, fast food world and say: Not all of us want french fries with that!